Hermes
(00:00) Hey there, listeners! Hermes here. You probably know me as the Messenger God, patron of travelers, thieves, and commerce. And you probably wondered why I, the guy who's known for getting into trouble, faithfully showed up for every official episode, despite having the niggling feeling I had places to be.

(00:16) You see, listeners, I simply noticed my Uncle Hades working on the latest episode with the heir of a king who has never had to deal with the minutiae of podcast management, and I intervened. Even though I've decided my uncle, with his love of dial-up and the rotary phone, knows enough to take over this enterprise going forward—and I use that term enterprise loosely—I wanted this podcast to have the greatest chance of reaching the right people. The people who would actually appreciate it. If I had waited for him to figure out things like search engine optimization and brand identity, I'd be chained here for another 50 years and I've got places to be.

(00:48) You're welcome, uncle. Fireside Folklore with Hades is a variety show from the underworld, hosted by my uncle, who has the deepest voice in any known pantheon and has finally learned to use it without my assistance. More on that in a moment. Every episode, we bring you folklore from around the world, ancient and obscure, whimsical and dark, from Yemen to Korea, Palestine to Colombia, Australia to Hungary, and everywhere the stories live.

(01:11) Sometimes we retell them faithfully, Sometimes we modernize them for a world where women aren't expected to mind the house and the kids. And sometimes, Hades personally takes over a ferry and gets lost on the river Styx while nymphs ask for his autograph. These things happen when you let him improvise. The family shows up, too.

(01:29) Persephone brings recipes. Dionysus brings cocktails. Zeus advertises products that do not exist, cannot be purchased, and are not endorsed by anyone in the mortal world. Ares appears when someone needs to say something true and uncomfortable, which, given the state of the mortal world, has become expected at this point.

(01:46) And Antestia? Why, she once played a self-absorbed golden bird and delivered an aria about her own magnificence. It went viral among the world's pantheons, and Osiris has it as his ringtone. Psst.

(01:59) She doesn't know. Nobody plays the same role twice. Nobody has figured out how Hades casts us. Trust me, I've tried.

(02:06) It somehow works even when it looks like a disaster on paper. Now, I am the god of commerce. I find it professionally embarrassing that this podcast has never charged a single drachma. has no intention of charging a single drachma, and my uncle has made clear that the fireside belongs to everyone who gathers around it, free of charge, forever, as a matter of principle.

(02:27) I have filed complaints! I have phoned the Furies! I've even tried bribing Persephone! All records of my attempts to introduce capitalism into this enterprise have mysteriously gone missing.

(02:37) A note on the recent silence. I'll be honest with you because my ability to leave the recording booth hinges upon my ability to tell the truth, and my desire to leave outweighs my desire to deceive. This time, for years, I was the one keeping things running around here. Organizing, scheduling, teaching my uncle that the internet exists and that one does not, in fact, need to hand-deliver messages to every mortal individually.

(03:00) This took longer than it should have. We don't need to assign blame. The point is, things were chaotic, the format was inconsistent, and I accept no responsibility for any of it. I'm a traveling god.

(03:11) I have places to be. Ugh. I can't be expected to host a podcast indefinitely simply because someone had to do it. Those days are over.

(03:20) What I can tell you is that the show is in better hands now. More specifically, the original hands. Someone with considerably more gravitas, patience, and clout. The man is a king!

(03:30) Mortals! A bona fide king! With a throne and a crown! Anyway, he'll be assuming all creative control and liability for the podcast from here on out.

(03:39) Grab your marshmallows. The fire is already lit. The stories are itching to be shared. And me?

(03:46) I have money to make, a heist to oversee, and somewhere to be. Somebody's got to find the fun facts and you don't learn about the Tomatina Festival by surfing the internet. At least I don't.

Hades
(04:09) Is this thing on? Greetings, listeners. Contrary to popular belief, the reports of my demise were gravely exaggerated. As my nephew so eloquently put it, this podcast is under new management.

(04:22) To distinguish his chaos from mine, We will be kicking off this podcast's reboot by moving into Season 3. Time moves differently in the Underworld, but because nobody's patience is as legendary as my own, I shall endeavor to have that long-awaited tale from Spain, the Wounded Lion, recorded and out to you before the full-buck moon. For those without a Lunar Phases calendar, that's July 29th. Until then, stay curious.